Very rarely do I share my private life on my blog. I believe in keeping my private life, just that; private - and yes I realise how ironic this is coming from a blogger who shares parts of her life daily. But that is just it, I share 'parts' of my life, I decide what I want to share with you and what I would rather keep to myself. However, after a bit more than two years on the 'blogging scene' and about hundreds of emails later - promoting Mother's day/yearly - I have decided today to share with you one story that has affected my entire life but also made me the women I am today.
The reason I want to share this story with you is a simple one but a very valid one; YOU. Yes, my readers are the reason I both, want to share this story but also have the courage to do so. Every day I get emails from readers thanking me for a variety of reasons - something that still takes me by surprise today. Some of your stories have brought tears to my eyes. So I thought that maybe my story of how it took me a bit more than 10 years not to break down and cry every year on mother's day would be one worth sharing with you.
Today, I write to you as a young 26 years ambitious freckly red-head who looks just like her mum. I have her hair, her grey/bluish eyes, her temperament, her ambition, her fun and caring attitude - or so I would like to think - and her passion for clothes. I do not have her math's skills, her ability to work with prints and I probably dont have the courage she had when battling Cancer. However, the confident person I am today took years, a lot of tears, good friends and an amazing father. Someone, I think she would have been proud to call her daughter .
As I grow older, I have one constant fear, the fear of forgetting; forgetting what she looked like, sounded like, and simply was she was like. I have often found myself wondering if I would remember her today and then it hits me just how stupid I am to worry about forgetting. The memories I have of her and us will only fade if I stop remembering, which is something I have never done and will probably never do as she is a huge part of who I am today.
If you have lost someone that meant the world to you, there is no wrong in remembering and breaking down, all you are doing is bringing your memories alive and allowing for the memories of that person to keep on living, and there is nothing wrong with that - quite the contrary, it's a lovely thing to do if you ask me. It took me a lot of time but I finally realised that my fear of forgetting had no sense. Indeed, there is a fair chance I will never forget as I am the person I am today because of her. I actually discovered the joys of 'online' shopping thanks to my mum, well in those days it was phone orders from catalogues. Some of my fondest memories were sitting on the edge of the bed, going through the hundreds of pages of La Redoute and other clothes catalogues and choosing what would go in our basket - our order - and then patiently waiting for our order to arrive. Not to forget, keeping the orders hidden from my farther, which was never a big success :) Unconsciously, when I shop online today and fill my virtual baskets it brings me back to those days and the memories of my mum and I smile as I like the silent company. Come to think of it, she would have probably loved this blog and any fashion blog out there.
If you do feel like things will never get better, this is a small message that things do have a tendency of getting better and life really does go on and please what ever you do never think you are alone.
Happy mother's day to you all, make the most of it.
Edit: A huge thank you to Sophie Carré PR Agency for giving me the perfect mother's day gift idea for my Dad! He is absolutely thrilled with it :)